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Impending Do-- I mean revelry!

  • Dec. 30th, 2007 at 9:56 PM

The week left behind contained excessive drinking, a few job applications and some drawing (I'm currently retraining myself using George Bridgman's Complete Guide to Drawing from Life, works can be found in the Scraps folder on my FurAffinity page, www.furaffinity.net/gallery/jayfear). It may have also contained some nuts and shellfish, and it cannot be guaranteed that it was suitable for a vegan diet. Actually, I had steak tonight, so I definitely can't make that promise.

Well after all those hangovers I'm ready for the big one! That's right kids, New Years Eve! A night of regrettable sex, intoxication beyond lethality and failed promises to yourself! Of course, that's the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is staying at home neatly ordering your financial documents and planning your yearly budget, only using the countdown to the new year to synchronise your already chornologically perfect timepiece.

My plans for the night are somehwat nebulous, bouncing around the inner west, going to parties, meeting people I love seeing but then never following up on plans to keep in steady contact with them afterwards. Wonderful fellows such as shall feature in this bacchanalia I'm sure, so props in advance mon ami!

Now for some randomnity!

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Two people have been reported as being surprised by the assassination of Pakistani political figure Benazir Bhutto, which occurred on December 28th, and are now undergoing reality therapy at Royal North Sydney Hospital. Apparently one of the surprised individuals has spent the past decade living under a rock, while the other is leader of the Christian Democratic Party, Fred Nile. 'Pakistan? I though God smote them all already, and you're saying one of these people was alive to be killed? I'll have to check the Good Book on this one,' said Nile when asked about Ms Bhutto's death.

Ms Bhutto's death was first reported as having resulted from an explosion, then as being due to a gunshot, then as head trauma by the Pakistani government which now claims that her death was caused by subatomic particles rocketing through the earth's atmosphere at near-light speeds. It has been theorised that Al-Qaeda used a home-made particle accelrator to generate the particles, some of which seem to have struck Pervez Musharraf's brain as he is now reporting bouts of amnesia when trying to recall when he would call elections originally planned for early next year.

The state of unrest in Pakistan is no longer being defined as an emergency, mainly because in comparison with the rest of that geopolitical area it is in it is still relatively sane. On the Stalin scale of national unrest Pakistan still only ranks a 6, well ahead of the Bush watermark of 4 but still lagging sorely behind Saddam Hussein's record of 8 and an almost perpetual 9 for Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe.

Pervez Musharraf expressed regret at this lagging score but has promised to use his police and military forces to ensure that his continued enforcement of martial law remains justified in the face of attempts to stabilise the nation. Vladimir Putin, while scorning the accidental killing of Ms Bhutto, supported Musharraf saying 'In Post-Soviet Russia, we have often faced the threat of stability and civil rights, and if it weren't for Chechnya and the poorly thought out sabre rattling of the hillbilly in charge of the United States, I may have had to confront the gripping ineptitude that poor Mr Musharraf has had to cope with.'

Plans to exhume Ms Bhutto's body for an autopsy will most likely be followed through on Tuesday of next week, following the Pakistani capital of Islamabad's annual Trash Disposal Monday.

--DEFINITELY NOT SOURCED FROM REUTERS, AP OR ANYONE ELSE RELIABLE

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